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Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Today i hurt myy mama again...i never meant to...she's hurt anywayy now in her room lock herself in there. i just wish i never said anything...i don't know whyy i said hurtful things.dad's goin awayy...everything happen all of sudden...i wish it will all slows down, i don't hate myself but i hate what i become..these dayyss...i've alwaes have troubles one after another so said it's part of growing up...but to me i just hope i could be different. i've alwaes trying so hard..tryin to impressed. But i guess myy words are harsh..=(i don't know but everything happens so fast...

Everything is a messed...i'm tired of trying...myy tests are coming up and if i don't do well i don't have the chance to retake. i have role play's with accounting which is driving me nutss..formulae to remember..script to remember letters format to remember oh yea not forgeting notes to memorise...and and at the same time i had to do myy daily housechores...everydayy after school if house not clean mum will come after me...i just need to relax as i just came back from school but instead i end up saying something hurtful might not be hurtful to me but her..major..i didnt meant it that wayy...i've said thingss...wat lead me to tears was she said this year i've alwaes hurt her in every wayy..if having me as her daughter is making her life difficult then whyy did she let me live in the first place...i should die...and not exist...maybe if i'm not around things would be better or worst..?i'm sayiing wat's on myy mind keeping it will be much hurtful...myy heart is pain...now..i didn't noe where else to go...sometimes yew just feel like goin to some place quiet where yew can be alone...sit down look at the blue skyy...sit and think...

Don't happyy families have problems too...?it doesn't have to be broken families..get the fact...
seriouslyy it is much easier before telling myy mum and dad problems wen i was young...now it seems like small little things yew said you're done...!friendss..?nahh they'll come to yew wen either theyy have problems....or want something from you...haiss...

hmm...i don't wanna thinkk about it...im listening to fireflies byy owl city almost lead me to tearss...the song is soo sweet...love the lyricss...family portrait...byy pink is a sad songg...=(okae i gotta go...no mood=(

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