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Tuesday, October 27, 2009

DEAR YAYAH,

...I don't know how to begin myy life right now everything is a messed..i feel i lost myy family myy close friends and soonn maybe myy loves oness. i've broken promises, i've hurt ppl..i make people's life difficult. i don't even know who i am anymore. i make mistakes i did it again will i ever learnt myy mistakes...yayah..?

In the year 2009 gives alot of lessons to me, change myy whole life the way i look at things, i'm becoming a materialistic girl.i never could have imagine lying to myy mum..i've alwaes the troublemaker at home..one after another.myy problems now is overwhelming which is too much i can't take it. it's alwaes about me.but year 2009 have opened my eyes ,the people around me positive and negative.Because of the problems i have...i started to be pessismistic..

i did something i shouldn't have done...which leave scars in myy whole life..has a big impact in myy life...and todae i went home at 5pm..break myy fast..and prayed...after a minute something came to myy mind like a lightbulb..i thought of making chocolates and sell it to earn money to pay myy mum..of her hardwork...

The story goes like this....on sunday i was supposed to cut myy hair as i don't have the money so she came to me...i was disappointed...she gave me the moneyy...but i have other plans to go with myy friend and cut myy hair for free...i agreed before that..made up a promise with her and i end up breaking it..=(i hurt her..in other words.)so i didn't cut myy hair just thin...i made a huge mistake a foolish thing..i didn't know it cost till $16..i was shocked...thinking abt myy allowance for the week.and how do i explain .I made a reallie bad decision. which i can't forgive myself..

yayahh...inikah balasan ku..atau just a test to me...??i'm reallie tired...i've tried everyway to change myself...idk...yayahh...setiap kali ku dengar lagu"send it on"...by stars of disney channel reallie makes myy dayy...gives me another chance to live myy life again and forgive myyself and never look backk...move on...and the next dayy will be a better dayy..yayahhh...

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Blogged @ 4:32 AM
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