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Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Well..wonder why mii title todae is asshidi ridwuan and farisya el-fiza?hahaha...seriously ppl will be calling me crazey...i've planned quite fast huh..at the age of 18!fantastic...lols...those are my childs name...when i grow up later...my son asshidi ridwuan daughter farisya el-fiza..ehehehe...few of mii frends thougth el-fiza was a arab name...not surprise..even mii sis said so..mii mum was like wat name is that?Does it have a good nice meaning behind the name?erm...i was like kinda idk..i juz find the name sweet n cute..haha..

Hmm..todae got up late slept late last night...i cant sleep...like alwaes...lols...mii dae was boring at school...mii besties didn't turn up to sch..wat was i to do...haizz..i seriously miz mii pass life..i don't know why...everyone's been busy all this while..dad mum werking...should i say my life is like no life..?colourless..?hmm...idk...haha...i love to see cheerful friends because i can be happy and stay strong around them they are the kind of ppl i look up to coz..through sadness they can still move on and act as if nothing happens..they are so called happy go lucky but they acturlie live the toughest live..

neway i just discovered something..for 18 years i live..i thought mii life was miserable no one could have understands me and kinda think negative at that moment..i started to think where can i run to..who do i turn to?why do i tink of commiting suicide?this question plays in mii mind everynight...i closed mii eyes and think...calm myself down telling myself it's ok and move on the next day will be better..but heyz...there must be someone out there much more miserable than me..haiss..somebody said this...in his reply"to be hurt yew know what is the meaning of life"till then it forever stays in mii mind...hmm..

well..it's been long since i kept this to myself. i use to wonder why i can't get along..with mii mum..feel a motherlove juz like any other teenagers...i can understand that every parents expresses love in many different ways...some will hug kiss..ask ur daes. at sch .all sorts of stuffs..mi mum gets along well with teenagers mii age..they can laugh jokes...tell each other everything...hmm...shock to sae i'm jealous pretty jealous i mean who wouldn't rite?haha...kaes...i'm tired for now...update again next tyme..love...



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